Driving home from watching baseball in Greenville, I realized something. Sickening that I think in metaphors, but always the English major, I stared at my beautiful lake and came to a calming realization. My realization was that TFA teaches us to be oxbow lakes. I know, I know, cue sappy music and swelling tears in my eyes, but I’m serious. We all start out as this huge force, pushed forward and propelled by the same movement, and slowly throughout our first year we get pulled farther away from the group by the individual forces of our classroom. By the time we begin our second year, we’re practically on our own, cut off from that which had previously sustained us, but still (ideally) a thriving body of water. I am, in a sense, the lake on which I live. An successful, gorgeous, independent body of water, standing on my own. I am Lake Chicot.
From this I assume you can infer that I survived my first day of school. Seventeen kids today, eighteen total until new kids start trickling in, will be my daily load. I have two children who, when I asked my mentor teacher for advice on how to handle them, ellicit the response “oh lord honey, just pray…” I have several children who so far exceed my expectations. I have white kids, black kids, and hispanic kids. They (sometimes) do what they’re told, and they still possess that eagerness that’s required to sustain a beginning teacher in times of self-doubt. They still have their shoes on, their belts tight, and their shirts tucked in.
Somehow I don’t remember any of this happening last year….
It’s just different, starting second year. Even if its false bravado, there’s a relaxing feeling around everything I do, and I think it comes from the fact that this year I realize nothing is insurmountable. I didn’t quite….surmount my obstacles last year, but this year? I get to try again. No wonder people teach forever! Where else do you get so many chances to just….start over?!
It’s the beginning of the season and we made some big trades during the offseason. We trained hard and now that we look good on paper, it’s time to prove ourselves. For those of you who harken back to my September/October posts, where the only things I talked about were the Cubs inevitable World Series victory and my classes inevitable success, shut up. It’s the beginning of a new season.
Operation Badass begins tomorrow. Wish me luck.
